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Whoops, it’s happened again! Another relationship DOA. Whether it’s his fault or ours, it’s incredibly frustrating (and painful) to pick ourselves up from breakups and start again. But maybe this is the perfect time for some self-reflection. Do we set ourselves up to fail? Are we falling for the wrong guy, time after time? Are we, in any way, to blame? In this article, we will look at some of the mistakes we make in relationships. You might identify with a few of them, although don’t beat yourself up about it. If you find yourself making some of these mistakes, just reflect and improve for next time.

Not Giving Each Other Enough Space

Since the dawn of time, man has retreated to his ‘man cave’ for peace and solitude. It’s what they do, and sometimes as women, we like our space too. As I’m getting older, I’m finding more and more that my more successful relationships are ones where I have a partner that respects my need for space and aren’t clingy or needy. It’s the same for us—if you’re always up in his space and begging for attention, then he’s going to start getting sick of being so tied up. 

Giving space in a relationship is a very natural thing, especially for 2 independent adults. It is important for the both of you to maintain independent, and have your own lives and friends while also working on building a life together. Nobody wants someone to be around 24/7/365, no matter how much we love them.

Relying on Tinder for Relationships

Tinder is a great way for meeting partners, but a lot of guys on the app aren’t interested in a relationship. It’s not a secret that dating apps are often used for sex and easy-going flings. I’m definitely not discrediting the fact that there are relationships that have come out of Tinder or Bumble, but the ratio is definitely skewed. And if a one-nighter is what you’re looking for, then great! Power to you. But make sure to head to a clinic like CBD Medical Centre to do an exam after each partner. It’s always good to be safe! 

Trying To Change Your Partner (Or Changing For Them!)

Accept your partner for who he is, just as he should accept all of you. Every relationship and partner has their ticks—nobody’s going to be a “perfect” human. Whatever it is that ticks you off, take it with a grain of salt and forgive and forget. The way I like to think of it is “lose the battle, win the war”. If you genuinely love your partner for who they are, small things that may piss you off in the moment won’t matter in the bigger picture. This doesn’t mean that you can’t work together to communicate and encourage each other to shed bad habits, but getting in their face day after day over the minor things definitely isn’t going to help the relationship.

Rushing The Relationship Along

A healthy relationship takes time—so don’t rush! Pinning your hopes on a guy after only a few dates can be a red flag in their eyes. Go at a steady pace, finding out more about each other, and have fun in each other’s company. Relationships should come naturally, and remaining communicative about how you’re feeling can be helpful in understanding where each other stand.

Not Valuing Ourselves

You are valuable, whether you are in a relationship or not. If you are in any way compromising this, perhaps because you are doing all you can to please the guy, or he continually undermines you, it’s worth taking a long hard look at the relationship before it gets toxic. He needs to value you for who you are, in the same way you would do for him. If he is treating you poorly, you need to get out of that relationship. Sometimes, it is better to be single, than to be in a relationship that hurts us.

Relationships are hard work and require a lot of time and energy. So don’t be alarmed if your relationship isn’t perfect through and through—none are! Hope these tips helped you get a clearer grasp at how to improve your relationships. 

Until next time, 

Angel Zheng


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