This is one of the first books I’ve read about relationships that made me jaw-drop at how accurately it described some of my past relationships. This was the first time I was learning about attachment styles and I honestly am amazed I never heard of them before. If you haven’t heard about attachment styles before, here’s what they are: 

The 3 Attachment Styles

Avoidant

Those who fall under the avoidant attachment style tend to perceive themselves as “lone wolves”, strong, independent, and self-sufficient (almost to a fault). They do not want to depend on others or have others depend on them. They tend to avoid emotional closeness and are afraid of deep connections and commitment. 

Adults with this attachment style tend to also hide or suppress their feelings in emotionally-dense situations and in their relationships. 

Anxious

Anxious adults, think of their partners as their “better half” and can’t imagine living without their partner. Those with this attachment style can often have a negative self-image and look to others to fill their void. They seek approval, support, and responsiveness from their partners. This can cause worry and doubt that their partner isn’t as invested in the relationship as they are. 

Secure

In contrast to the previous two (which we can categorize as “insecure” attachment styles), secure adults often feel comfortable expressing emotions openly and believe that they deserve love so they never worry about their partners being unavailable or unresponsive. They can depend on their partner and in turn, let their partners rely on them. 

Secure attachment types thrive in their relationships but also love being on their own. They don’t irrationally fear abandonment and do not depend on the responsiveness or approval of their partners to have a positive view on themselves. 

Actionable Takeaways

1. No matter what attachment style you fall under, open, honest, and effective communication will ALWAYS be the saving grace of your relationship. Even though Avoidant types and Anxious types often attract, it doesn’t mean they are doomed. Relationships containing these two types can still flourish and grow with good communication.
2. Be honest with what you want in a relationship both with your partner and with yourself. Express your needs from the start so there is no disappointment later on. 
3. Love should bring peace. If you’re in a relationship filled with push and pull and a rollercoaster of anxiety, passion, disappointment, and joy, that’s not real love. Your brain has been trained to think that this is what love is but it’s just familiarity because of past traumas. 
4. Secure attachment types often stay out of the dating pool once they leave it. The most common attachment type in the dating pool is avoidant as they tend not to stay in relationships for long. 
5. Secure attachment types risk staying in bad relationships for too long, in hopes that they can lift and change their partner. They also are at risk of being influenced by anxious or avoidant partners and become that as well. 
6. When anxious or avoidant types date secure people, they can change for the better and outgrow their anxious and avoidant tendencies. 

Extras

5 secure principles for resolving conflict

• Show basic concern for the other person’s well-being
• Maintain focus on the problem at hand
• Refrain from generalizing the conflict
• Be willing to engage
• Effectively communicate feelings and needs

Verdict

This book gave me a greater understanding not only of my relationships but also of why I am the way I am in life. It’s helped me identify my own attachment style and provided advice and solutions that I can practice over time so I can build deeper and healthier connections within my relationships. It’s also helped me to understand my past partners more.

I’d highly recommend this book to anyone who’s looking to grow and develop deep connections in their own lives. Whether you’re looking for a relationship, currently in a relationship, or trying to understand why you DON’T want a relationship—this book will give you insights into it all.

The book itself reminds me of the book The Little Prince, as it relays messages of following your dream and personal realizations in the form of a magical story. Both these books are ones that can be loved by a child but also by an adult, as each generation will perceive and understand it differently.

My takeaways?

This book speaks heavily on the topic of ‘Personal Legends’ which can loosely be translated to your personal “meaning of life”. It says that everyone has a personal legend—a reason that they live and breathe. When we are younger, the universe tells us about what we’re here on the earth to do, and what we’re going to achieve. But as we get older, different aspects of life start to mould our beliefs and thoughts about what we need to become, and it suppresses all that we know as a child as well as blocks off our communication with our heart and with the language of the universe. 

I think this book resonated with me so much because it’s a great reminder to revaluate what it is my goals and dreams and beliefs really are. It made me want to reconnect with myself—and in turn try to tune in again to what the universe is saying. It’s not easy to achieve this when you have a million other things to worry about, stress about, or contemplate in your life. However, I think it makes the task that much more important.

For a period of time, in the beginning of this year, I took on the challenge of trying to meditate every single day. I unfortunately pushed this task further and further down my “to-do” list before I was able to build a habit out if it. Meditating really helped me connect with myself, with the present, and with my spirituality and this book has re-inspired me to continue this practice.

As I’m trying to consciously learn to listen my own needs and allow myself to feel happy about where I am in life, The Alchemist was a great addition to my own journey of self-discovery and improvement.

Heavy Hump Day topic, oops!

My most recent read has been Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan. I was obsessed after the first chapter. The almost-satirical descriptions of the decadent old-aged wealth of these Asians and how it affects their behaviour, lifestyle, and beliefs is totally addictive. Living in Vancouver, I have always been surrounded by families and people who clearly come from a very wealthy background. With the Chinese wealth boom that has happened in the last decade, it has sparked a whole new group of Chinese people who proudly flash and boast about their wealth. And hats off to them! What’s the point of making money if you can’t spend the money!

But this behaviour almost leaves an air of mystery around their flashy lifestyle. It makes you wonder how rich these people really are… And that’s what the biggest selling point of this book was to me. It delves deep into how money and wealth are handled by ultra rich Asians. And BOY was it delicious and exciting.

With Rachel added into the mix as the “normal” girl in Nick’s rich world, it added a sense of relatability to the story which I thought was a great grounding point. I loved how Kwan created this new-age love and blended it in so effortlessly with this elaborate traditional wealth and culture. Not to mention all the current Asian culture references and language usage gave me moments where I was laughing out loud and thinking about how I can almost hear my Asian relatives saying and acting this way.

Overall, I give this books 5 stars! It was the perfect book for an “escape” read during this busy month. I just ordered China Rich Girlfriend, the sequel to Crazy Rich Asians so I’ll be doing a follow-up post about this series soon! 

Until then,

Maybe it’s because I’m finally starting school full-time again in September (and hopefully heading in the right direction), or maybe it’s because I know I’ve basically wasted the past two school years (where has the time gone?!), but sometimes I really do feel inspiration hungry. I am definitely one to need constant little pushes in the right direction, or else my curious (and lazy) nature will wander off and get off track. 

And what better way to get motivated than to dive in some self-help books ! 

What I enjoy about today’s “self-help” books is that they aren’t your typical, run-of-the-mill, “how to get rich in ten easy steps” books that you used to find. Everyone is different, and I feel that authors realize that the exact steps they’ve taken to reach their goals , aren’t going to work for everyone. Books now-a-days have become a little less focused, and a little more inspiring.

Not to mention, share a common theme; Confidence. But that’s another ramble for another day. 

Not to say that I’m lacking in the confidence department or anything (trust me, I love myself plenty), but I definitely understand that everyone (including lil’ ol’ me) needs a little healthy reminder now and again. 

So, here are the four inspo-friendly things I purchased recently, that you could definitely check out as well. 

FIRST being of course a new agenda. I really thought that this might be the year that I stray from the LG (little girl) looking, colourful agendas… but then I saw this one created by the Ban.Do girls and I couldn’t resist. ahhhhh I’ll go for the moleskin one next year. Just let me hold on to my LG days for one more year. 

SECOND, the actual books. Note : I’ve only actually peeped inside of these babies , but they were all recommendations from friends, youtubers, or just other real life people that have read these books, so either way, I know they’re going to be good. 

You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life

A quick motivation read to remind you that you’re enough, and that as long as you believe, you can achieve. 
Leave Your Mark: Land Your Dream Job. Kill It in Your Career. Rock Social Media.

Career oriented ! Written by inspirational Aliza Licht (DKNY’s PR PRODIGY), giving you a run down on how she got where she is, and how you can do the same. 
Rich Bitch: A Simple 12-Step Plan for Getting Your Financial Life Together…Finally

Finance oriented. For all the careless spenders (like me), who’ve realized they need to reign it in (like me), and get their shit together and save (also like me). 

Hope these help you guys out ! 

MORE SOON, 

I purchased Michael Faudet’s book because it was recommended to me on Amazon when I purchased Lang Leav’s Love and Misadventure (I wrote about Love and Misadventure here). I’ve seen pictures of this book floating around blogs, instagram accounts and tumblrs for quite a while now, so naturally I had to join the bandwagon and see what the fuss was about.

I knew that it was a book of poetry but I had no idea how sexual this book was going to be ! But it didn’t bother me much, I actually quite enjoyed it still. It was a great read for a warm sunny afternoon. Despite the sexual nature of most of the poems, they were all written with an undertone of love. He addresses his feelings towards several (fictional) girls; The love, lust, and other emotions that came with it.

I think I personally preferred Love and Misadventure a little bit more, but Dirty Pretty Things was still a relaxing, great read. I’d say I give it a 7/10 on the scale of how badly you need to read this book.

You can purchase Dirty Pretty Things on amazon here (Dirty Pretty Things*) for $15.29.

and also Lang Leav’s Love and Misadventure here (Love & Misadventure*) for $13.55.

Until next time,

*affiliate links are included in this post.

After putting it off for so long, I’ve finally finished #GIRLBOSS by Sophia Amoruso. This book took me a while to finish, purely because I started it at a very busy time in my life. However, now that I’m done, I can easily say that it was very well-worth the read, and I would probably read it again (when I finish all my other books.)

The reason I enjoyed #GIRLBOSS so much, is because it’s NOT like your typical self-help, motivation book. #GIRLBOSS tells the story of the infamous Nasty Gal’s founder, Sophia, and how she went from being a rebellious teenager that only cared about parties and livin’ life, to being a very successful entrepreneur. Her words are witty, wise, funny, relatable and inspirational, all at the same time. Through her experiences and stories, she explains how she never wanted to be who she is today, it was never her end goal. She just took opportunities as they were presented to her, and dove head first into challenges, and essentially worked her ass off doing something she loved. Until one day she realized, what she was doing was actually becoming something amazing. She talks about her lowest points (dumpster diving, and stealing) and her highest points (buying her Porsche!) and how they were all connected. How every thing she’s done in the past, taught her a lesson one way or another, and lead her to become who she is today.

Her book contains 11 chapters, each about different aspects of her life, or different rules, guidelines, or teachings about how she became successful. Chapters that talk about how “Shoplifting (and Hitchhiking) Saved My Life” and “Money Looks Better In The Bank Than on Your Feet”. And then she has practical chapters as well that teach you “On Hiring, Staying Employed, and Firing” And “Taking Care of (Your) Business”.

This is a great book to read, whether you’re stuck in the dumps, looking for motivation, or just looking for a good read. It’s definitely a book about girl power, and independence, and never betraying yourself. She’s a great teacher on how to become a #GIRLBOSS of your own.

Also,  this is honestly just a great book to own and keep on your bookshelf (not unlike my other girl bible : “Why Men Love Bitches”) to read as a pick me up. I’m glad I own this book in my ipad, so I could have it on hand to read when I am feeling unmotivated and lazy.

I have the link here (#GIRLBOSS) if you want to purchase this book for yourself ! I recommend this book to any female of any age! (except maybe girls under 12.. there might be some self-expression in profanities in here)

Definitely giving this baby a 10/10!

SIDE NOTE : I’ve started a reading challenge on Good Reads for 2015 ! My Goal is to read 50 books in the year of 2015. If any of you guys enjoy reading, I urge you to join the challenge as well ! Reading is definitely not something I want to push aside again, so I am making it a goal for me to read more !

Here is my current progress. Only 2 books read so far, but in my defence, I had a late start ! I will update my progress at the end of each month to see how I’m doing !

Until next time ,

*Affiliate links are used in this post !

I’ve been trying to get back into reading lately. I used to be an avid reader. Anytime I had even a little bit of spare time, you would find me curled up in some corner with a book. And then Ebooks happened, and I started to carry around my Kindle, and then that broke on me, so I got a Kobo. But as time went on, whether it was due to school, work, or just trying to have a social life on top of it, I stopped allotting time for reading. Lately I’ve been trying to rediscover my bookworm nature. Not only through Ebooks, which are super convenient, but I’ve also started getting back into buying paperbacks again. Yes it is easier to have certain books on my ipad to read on-the-go, but there are just some books that I’d rather have in my hand, with pages to flip. I’ve ordered 4 new books on amazon, and bought two from a Chapters that I walked by.

So the first book that I want to review for you guys is If I Stay by Gayle Forman. I’ve been seeing lots of mentions of this book on the internet, as well as from my fellow book loving friends. They even made it into a movie last year.

And boy was it worth the hype. I finished this book in one sitting because I pretty much just couldn’t put it down.

The blurb on the back of the book says :

On a day that started like any other…..Mia had everything : a loving family, a gorgeous, adoring boyfriend, and a bright future full of music and full of choices. Then, in an instant, almost all of that is taken from her. Caught between life and death, between a happy past and an unknowable future, Mia spends one critical day contemplating the only decision she has left – the most important decision she’ll ever make. Simultaneously tragic and hopeful, this is a romantic, riveting, and ultimately uplifting story about memory, music, living, dying, loving.

When I first read this blurb, it was equal parts confusing and intriguing. But after reading the book, I realized that this description almost perfectly depicts what’s going to happen in the book.

This is not your typical story about death or love. Gayle Forman put an amazing twist on everything that we know about death, families, love, friendships, and hope. As much of an emotional roller coaster ride that this book is, it wasn’t the type to necessarily make you cry (at least I didn’t, and I cry pretty easily). It was more the type of book to make you reconsider how you view certain things to do with death. It truly is such a moving and beautiful book. It’s completely tragic and heartbreaking all the way through, but I promise the ending is satisfying.

I would definitely recommend this to anyone looking for a good read. Be ready to have your heartstrings tugged on though. I’d give it a 10/10.

If you want to purchase If I stay, I have the amazon link here: If I Stay (If I Stay, Book 1)

If you want to purchase the If I Stay collection (there’s a second book too!) the link is here. It’s actually more worth it to purchase the two together. It’s cheaper ! If I Stay Collection

I’ll put the trailer to the movie here as well, if you’re interested (:

More soon,

*Affiliate links are used in this post !